Great expectations.

The mind filters incoming info based on expectations and therefore vague messages (redundant #1) are misinterpreted.

We’re often told to read between the lines, which can be dangerous if expectations are built into the reading. Some could argue that we can become more effective & successful (for the lack of better word) if we let go of expectations and start taking things as they come.

DeBono defines “Unhappiness” as the difference between... actually before I get into that, I want to tell you a short story.

The beast falls in love with the beauty, except the beauty’s sorted past makes her feel more a like a women’s tired old uterus, so she assumes he wouldn’t love her otherwise and keeps the past locked away, he assumes she’s an open book, as he is...

Forward some months and the locked away past starts to seep out and stinks up the relationship, things get ugly and all is lost. Beauty and beast, starts off as a romance novel and ends up a depressing epic (redundant #2).

“Unhappiness is the difference between one’s talents and their expectations” said one of the greatest philosophers of this century.

So why can’t we get rid of our expectations if they’re the seed of our unhappiness? The unconscious mind filters incoming data based on existing knowledge, in order to make sense of things, and where necessary, it fills in the gaps. The filling-in is based purely on expectations. That’s how the same event is seen by some as a miracle and by others as a coincidence.

I accept that... and I accept that the filtering of data (i.e. expectations) will lead to misunderstandings, disappointment, sadness and the cats and the cradle. So I wake up every morning expecting the world to be a better place. Cuz some expectations are worth the unhappiness attached, these are called HOPE.

What do you think?

Tweet

The truth about Lying

Lies include fibs, half truths, white lies, false statements, misrepresentations, deceptive statements, misdirection and many others. I would argue that anything that isn’t the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is in turn a LIE.

Research indicates the following
· Between friends, there’s an average of one lie for each 10 minute conversation
· To strangers, most of what we say is a lie.
· For the average women under 30 years old, the statement “you’re the father” is a lie, 10% of the time

Think of politicians, magazines, sales people, religion, internet, retailers. Now consider how much info you have gathered in the last day, week, month... and imagine how much of that isn’t true.

In fact, not only are we great liars, but we also expect to be lied to and don’t even want to know the truth, most of the time.

So why? Why are we so corrupt?
The answer I think is simple... survival. What do you think?

Imagine if the truth was told every-time one of the following questions was asked
Do I look fat in this?
Am I a good lover?
Do you love me?
Are you attracted to anyone else?
Are you doing your best?
Is that the best price?

If someone told the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, all the time, they would be branded crazy, psychotic and socially inept. So where exactly do we draw the line when it comes to branding a person as honest, too honest or dishonest?
And how on earth is total honesty not a virtue?

Comments?
ps. feel free to lie

Tweet

The insiders guide to kissing ass

This morning, over breakfast, a friend criticised my blog saying it caters for the morally endowed and ignores the needs of moral retards. “unfair” she proclaimed. “I like your verbal diarrhoea, it is the only time I want to kiss you on the lips and suck on the juices” she added “but I can’t read it anymore because everytime I do, I feel guilty, and the tips are useless to me”.

You see... not only does she work in advertising, but she’s also religious. In other words, she lives in a world where morality is scarce and guilt is abundant. (they call this world, the "real world" in contrast to the "imaginary world" that I live in)

So, in the spirit of egalitarianism & committing the cardinal marketing sin of trying to cater for all kinds of fans, I decided to give you this quick guide. Please ensure you only forward to the cool friends and don’t forward this to all... insecure assholes tend to take things, like that, personally.

Right... back to the point. There are two rules for ass-mastery

To be the best ass sniffer you can be, you need to be...
a. Skilfully subtle
b. Void from peer condemnation and derision.

And here’s how.

a. Subtlety. (examples seen below require a serious & genuine delivery)

Don’t talk about features, focus on the benefits: Instead of “what a well shaped ass you have, sir” say “these suit trouser fit you so well Mr Smith! I’m sorry if that sounds forwards. It’s just that my boyfriend has trouble fitting into suits as well as you do, even though you are very similar in shape!?”

Use presuppositions: make a point that, in order for it to make sense, one would need to assume that the bosses’ ass is great. “Ms Smith. Remember the last company function my girlfriend came to? I think it was the only time you two met. Anyway, after that night, for some strange reason, she spent a month in the gym obsessing over her butt and thigh exercises, even though she has an amazing figure. We almost broke up due to her obsessive behaviour that time! I don’t know what happened! So, anyway, I’m glad partners aren’t allowed at this company function”

b. Your colleagues can’t know what you’re up-to.

Put a coffee mug on your desk that says “the ass stinks, the pussy is better”. This way, not only will your colleagues never accuse you of ass kissing, but you may even get lucky if the bosses’ partner doesn’t like travelling south of the border. (ps for this to work well you may need to have this illustration (see below) which I designed). Also, on casual outings, you can wear a t-shirt that says “Eat pussy! Not shit” / “Eat dick! Not shit” (no illustration required here)

Throw colleagues off the scent by making flattering remarks to other people who have no authority over you, such as the barista in the coffee shop. That way, you appear to be indiscriminate in your brown-nosing and no one will suspect you.

Start with these, my ethically challenged friends, and I’ll have some more for you later. All this talk makes me wanna eat... I mean drink... Coffee.

ps. I hope you're happy "H", these tips should be plenty useful. If not, let me know. I have another tip that'll rock your world

........

Can't teach an old dog new tricks

Can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
For many years, I used to measure myself and my achievements (or lack of) in a momentary frame, in other words I looked at situations as if they existed in a specific point in time. So I succeeded, or I failed, I won or I lost, I did or I didn’t.

Then one day, someone said to me that, “what’s true today may not be true tomorrow”. It may seem like a simple and logical thing when you think about it, but whatever way they said it, it seemed to have a profound and lasting impression on me.

I started to look at situations in an infinite time frame, in other words, things had no end. By doing so, I couldn’t fail and couldn’t succeed either, I simply learned and grew. I didn’t win or lose, I simply had an experience that either brought me a temporary felling of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, from I which I could easily move on.

I even decided that anyone who tells me I’ve failed can go f$%k themselves, and anyone who tells me I’m a success should get their head out of my ass unless they like the smell of yesterday's curry.

As such, I now, and forever, cannot be a failure, nor arrogant. (although, I may chose to be uncouth, condescending and hypocritical, sometimes :-)

I’m not sure if that kind of mentality would suit you, but it works for me, and I share it with you in case you find it useful to think in this way (without the toilet humour of course). And if you don't agree, DON'T tell me why. You’re probably smarter than I, anyway. And this old dog can't learn any more tricks.

Aside from this lesson, that person also taught me two things, sarcasm & a great quote that I use regularly when people ask how I am...“I’m not where I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be, I’m ok and I’m on my way”

Ps. I haven’t heard from this friend for many years and lost track. George Statham, wherever you are, I miss your wisdom. I hope you’re happy.

Tweet

Don’t read this blog

Don’t read this page if your life is good enough as it is, and can’t improve. Seriously.
Any Psycho-the-rapist will tell you this is reverse psychology... it is, but not quite.

You see, the mind doesn’t understand negative suggestions like you would expect it to.
If I say to you, don’t notice your blinking rate, you inevitably start noticing it. This is because your mind first needs to process the thing it’s not supposed to process before it can then make a conscious decision to start thinking about other things. And the first step is to think about the blinking rate, before it can move on to something else. This is the basis for what is known as negative suggestion (an unconscious message framed in a negative way).

Unfortunately, we are constantly bombarded by negative suggestion that we don’t want... Some are dumber than others and can be very funny to observe like...
“Addiction Centre”... really? Hearing that name makes me wanna go there to develop addictive behaviour?
Or “Smokers Clinic”... is that a clinic full of doctors who happen to be smokers?
Or the old classic “Don’t drink and drive”, especially useless after a couple of drinks when conscious decision making goes out the window.

We can however, do two things to help our unconscious mind.
This first being, changing your day to day language to frame positive thoughts in a positive way. So for instance, instead of thinking, I “don’t want to smoke”, think “I want healthier lungs”. (I just want to make it clear that I don’t endorse people who quit smoking, because I never like quitters, but I guess “each to his own”). Here are some other examples...
“I want to lose weight” becomes “I want to be healthier/slim/more attractive”
“I’m sick of losers hitting on me in bars”, becomes “I want to attract smart/confident/whatever with ease”

The other thing you can do, is use negative suggestion in a positive way. So you can stop thinking about how confident you are. Which is great, because not only did you just give yourself a boost of confidence, but you also convinced your unconscious mind that you are indeed confident (why else would you need to stop thinking about it).

So here’s a few to get you started...
Try not to smile for the next 10 seconds.
Try harder not to think about the last time you really felt motivated.
And if you can do the first two things, you can stop thinking that I’m one of the best bloggers you’ve come across in a while ;-)

Tweet

What do, “Microsoft Works”, “diet ice cream” and “religious tolerance” have in common?

What do, “Microsoft Works”, “diet ice cream” and “religious tolerance” have in common?

They’re a contradiction-in-terms, oxymorons.
In fact, the word “oxymoron” is one too (not one two), since “oxy” comes from the Greek word for ‘sharp’... ie. “Sharp Moron”. Whoever made-up the word had a real sense of humour.

Lesson #2: contradict yourself.

Nelson Mandela was famously quoted, during his inaugural speech, for saying “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”. Indeed, Mandela hadn’t said these words at all, as transcripts would prove. It was actually taken from the book “a Return to love”, By Marianne Williamson, 1992, and attributed to Mandela by mistake.

Whose words they are, is irrelevant. What matters is the great contradiction in term that exists in the world of self empowerment. How can our fear come from our power? Why, if we are powerful beyond measure, would we fear it?

It is brilliantly simple. We are so hell bent on letting our fears rule our lives, and so determined, unconsciously, to hold on to our fears in order to give our lives a sense of safety. What better way to plant a hypnotic suggestion for the masses to feel powerful, than to turn it into a fear. From a neuro-linguistic point of view, unconscious thought is more powerful than the conscious thought, and manipulating words in this way hold great hypnotic impact. I bet, most people felt a rush of enthusiasm when they heard the quote for the first time, even if it didn’t make logical sense.

So, learning from this quote, I present you with this challenge. Come up with a contradiction within yourself and use to change your frame of thinking from negative to positive, from weakness to strength. Here’s an example:
What if you suddenly decided that you are the biggest loser of all time. Wouldn’t it be great... to have the power to lose all self-defeating mentality, and lose all negative thoughts, and lose all the excess weight, and lose all fear of failure, and lose and lose...

Well, it is now up to you start changing the meaning of words in your own mind’s vocabulary. If you come up with any, don’t be shy, post them in the comments below.

Tweet